Spam A La Mode

"fat umbrella"

"A volumetric by pooh"

Who on Earth is responsible for spam? What is the purpose of the spam economy? Is anyone actually making any money off such things? My answer, of course, is that aliens are responsible.

Saturday Night's All Right

Hello all! Apologies for my absence from blogland but I have been very busy doing I am not quite sure what. Another relatively uneventful week in Me-land...

Monday I went to the Rideau Centre after class (public affairs; social science research theory; kind of tedious but I'll live). There I haggled for Mum's birthday present with a middle-aged Indian dude. It was kind of fun. And I know I got a better price than I would have gotten on something similar at the Bay, because I went to check before I bought it. So I saved, oh, $10 or so. Whee! Then it was off to choir practice, where I was delighted to see that we are singing Goin' Home from the New World Symphony, which is one of my absolute favourites. We're also singing Gate Gate, the Chichester Psalms, J'entends le moulin, and Soon Ah Will Be Done Wi' De Troubles Of Dis World. Not sure how we're going to handle the patois in that last one, as we are the Whitest Choir Ever. J'entends le moulin is a real blast from the past for me, because I remember singing it with my elementary school choir. Good days, good days.

Thursday there was a CUSE Coalition (Carleton University Students for the Environment) meeting at which there were some very good people interested in waste disposal, climate change, biodiversity and other worthy causes. There was also pizza, so plus several hundred points for that. I would like to issue a memo: Fida's Pizza makes a fine slice.

After the meeting I repaired to the library for a couple of hours and read about massacres and the Lebanese civil war. Charming stuff. It's surprising to me, though, how well I am holding up. I expected to be working toward a minor in Hysterical Weeping this semester, what with my two courses on Africa and the Middle East. Instead, though, I'm finding it's very easy to be sympathetic to all sides and to understand that motivations are complicated. We are all afraid, sometimes, and when large numbers of people are very afraid, for their lives, their livelihoods, their family, or their country for a long time, strange and terrible things happen. This doesn't make it desirable or okay, it's just what happens.

Post-library I went to Rosina's on-campus pad, and from there out to Sin, which happens also to be the capital of the People's Republic of Lame. It was the Journalists for Human Rights fundraiser and turnout was okay, but that didn't change the fact that the music kind of sucked. Oh well. Ian, Rosina and Adam and I went across the street to a bar and grill for nachos, which was much more satisfactory. Unfortunately we were unsuccessful in locating any cider -- apparently Elgin Street is a cider-free zone.

My Friday classes rule. For reals. And then Katherine made cookies, hurrah, and I went out for a run with Jacob in minus several thousand degree weather. Most of our conversation during the run consisted of saying, "My eyes are freezing shut. We are so hardcore." "God, I know. I can't feel my legs, but they are still moving!" It was pretty cool, and we did 9.5km, and we are awesome. That is all. And then I got home and ate a lot of cookies, because I deserve them. Jordan came over last night to hang out with Katherine, and it struck me once again what a very intelligent and nice guy he is. Three cheers!

Tonight the lovely Steph is having a very small group over to her place for her birthday festivities. It is most excellent that she is having a party, because last week she was going, "naaaah, I don't think I will, I don't even like birthdays." So much for that! I will be celebrating not only for her but also for Dad, because his birthday was yesterday. It wasn't very exciting for him, but there is talk of going for brunch at La Ronde, where there is deliciously delicious bread pudding. Or so I hear.

Anyway. After Steph's I'm going out to Pier 21 with some people -- not sure exactly who, but Em and Katherine are in. Wulfric's brother Axel (fabulous names in that family!) is in town, so hopefully the guys come. We all want to meet him, partly because then we will have met someone called Axel. Which would be awesome.

Tallyhooooooe!

Tomorrow Has Been Cancelled Due To Lack Of Interest

This has been nice quiet weekend, to settle down after last weekend's birthday fun. Friday night I watched both volumes of Kill Bill with Jacob, though I can't say I'm really a fan of it. Clockwork Orange is horrendously violent but for the purpose of posing an interesting moral question; Tarantino just seems to want to see how stylized and surreal he can make gore. There are some very beautifully shot sequences, sure, but it seemed kind of empty to me. The Bride's need for vengeance is never questioned outright, except maybe for a certain amount of ambiguity in her actions: she puts off killing someone until their child is not in the room. Anyway, corpses shouldn't mist blood 10 feet into the air. It's nasty.

Yesterday there was a rehearsal for the performance of Faure's Requiem in February (augh! So soon!). I wasn't sure if I liked it at first, but it's actually a fantastic score so I've really come around to it. This applies particularly to the part where we get to sing "dies illa, dies irae, calamitatus et miseriae" with utmost jauntiness. That day shall be a day of wrath, a day of ire, of calamity and misery, hooray!

It occurs to me I haven't actually said what we did for the afore-mentioned birthday: Katherine and Emily took me to the Mud Oven on Bank Street, where we painted various pottery items. I did a paisley-patterned soap dispenser, because our old one was plastic and exceptionally ugly. It has turned out very well, methinks. Then we went out to Pier 21 with Janet and Wulfric, Kelly and Kyle, and Katherine. Emily stayed home because she was feeling poorly -- she seems better now, but had a nasty cold/fever thing last week.

Without further ado, here are a few photos:

This was truly a spectacular birthday cake.

Katherine and Wulfric are what make public transit classy.

Kelly and Kyle: equally classy.

The Gals: me, Katherine, Kelly, and Janet.

Janet and Wulfric.

To the victor go the spoils!

And-a Apricot-a Too

Rosemary Clooney singing Come On To My House is maybe the best thing ever. EVER. It's funhousey and ethnic and cool.

Also pretty great? The Office and Ugly Betty tonight. My favourite moment from the latter was when Amanda, the mean blonde girl, dialled the phone in preparation for evildoing and then smirked, "it's totally ringing," while waiting because, like, it totally was ringing. It was a throwaway line but the delivery really made it.

Today was good, actually. I haven't seen my roommate once all day. Hurrah! I kid, that wasn't the reason it was good. Oddly, she's been much more cheerful and pleasant since someone got back from a weekend away. But they're out tonight, which is OK because sometimes one just needs a little space in which to dance madly to Rosemary Clooney songs -- I haven't felt much like hanging out with anyone lately, it seems to be time for repelling classmates in a sort of Teflon fashion by being sullen and irrational. Whatever, I am just a mean person who hates six billion people for no palpable reason (except you, Elementary School Nemesis Jason. I have many excellent reasons to hate you). Anyway, I think the reason today was good was because I went to the gym after work. We also had a fairly productive staff meeting. My running shoes have started giving me blisters. Boo. Kelly is getting me into good habits of actually doing weights when I go to the gym so that I don't collapse of osteoporosis by the time I retire. She is a very good influence, despite being a crazy person who works two jobs while taking a full course load. How does she do it? Come to think of it, how does Katherine get up at 4:30 a.m. to go to work? How does Jacob build his own zipline and not die while I, whilst holding the rope, manage to fall down a gully? Wonders never cease.

I'm going to the bank tomorrow morning. They will say, "you want to save how much money per month? Sure, you can go to Europe... by cargo freighter, in 2071!" Man, I hate those guys at the bank. Except I'm pretty sure it's actually a woman.

Augh! Late! Late! Sleep.

Next, Please

Let me just say that the amount of reading I have this semester is insane. This week I have read 200 pages of the Middle East textbook, journal articles, and internet sources. Class is tomorrow and am still not done. This is because I have been busy spooning up the alphabet soup of my African conflicts textbook:

"Thus it was that in March 1962 the UPA formed a front with former members of earlier associations such as ALIAZO (Association of Natives of Zombo) and ASSOMIZO, which had created the PDA, from the later union with which emerged the FNLA."

OMGWTFBBQ. All of this frontin' is taking place in Angola, in case you're interested. I'm certainly not, because this text seems to eject characters onto the stage as though from a chicken cannon in the wings. They just appear, with no exposition, such that every so often F.W. de Klerk wanders onto the scene and you wonder whether he's left his reading glasses in the parlour, because he has no apparent connection to the events of the previous sentence. However, apart from the risk of eye strain, my classes this semester look much better than last semester. This is good, because frankly if it had been worse I would have had to seriously reconsider my choice of major/school/planet.

Anyway. The birthday celebrations on Tuesday were modest yet fab -- Wulfric, Janet, Kelly, Katherine, and I went to Grace O'Malley's. Jordan tried to come, but didn't arrive in time to beat the lineup, so he got stuck outside. Further festivities are planned for the weekend. Wulfric's birthday was on the 7th, so I suppose this is a nice little tapering-down of birthday stuff for him. He had a Beerfest/Beerstravaganza/Beer Mitzvah on Saturday. The proceedings were impressive in the dedication of the participants and also in the true foulness of the rum selection. Note: just because the British Navy drank it doesn't mean normal human beings should.

I departed Jordan/Wulfric/Derek's to hang out at Jacob's, where his dad was having an office party featuring Steph, tiramisu, and an abundance of cute babies. From there it was off to the Thirsty Toad for James' band's show. I had never actually been to see the Red Light Saints, but they are highly recommended for a rockin' good time. The Red Light Saints' Facebook group has grown to something like 140 members in the past week, so hooray for them!

Work has been good. I suspect one of my projects is going to turn out to take hideous amounts of effort -- not at all what I'd wanted. But that's OK, I can sleep in April once the contracts are finished.

In conclusion, I am tired and miss my family.

In Which Jessica Goes Home

A belated happy holidays and merry new year to all! I hope it's been pleasant. It probably wasn't if you're Saddam Hussein, but that's another story entirely and I'd be a little surprised if you're reading this, since you're supposed to be dead. But I guess the CIA is pretty amazing with the conspiracy stuff, so you could be alive and well and living in Aruba, and one of your seven doubles could have literally taken the fall for you. Just a suggestion.

ANYWAY. I'm not in Aruba personally, but I've had a pretty nice break. It was far too short, which gave me a few attacks of the blues since there just wasn't enough time to see everyone I wanted to see without running myself off my feet. There's never enough time.

I've lost my daytimer today and thus it is kind of a miracle that I even know where I am right now. Jacob called to go out and do something (e.g. go running) but my social life is cancelled effective today, except for maybe a few things I may do. This semester I am making my usual resolution to knuckle down in school and rock the house academically in order to keep my scholarship. At the moment the prospects there are looking questionable, because I am pretty dumb and spent most of last semester either going out and having fun or moping because I was not out having fun. It all hangs on the geography exam having been slain thoroughly.

That paragraph was definitely not about my break. I will tell you about my break. Highlights included:

- Coffee with Jane and Ella Hewes and with Margaret and Terry (in the same day, yet!)

- A night of festivities with Becca, Diane, Matt, Dave, and various others. Matt taught us a drinking game called Hoedown, which consists of a lot of pointing and shouting and at which I was good enough that it actually slowed me in finishing my pint. He then shamelessly used me and Becca to get the DJ at the pub to play Iron Maiden, but I got to pick the song so that was fine (Live to flyyyy, fly to liiiive, do or diiiiie). This was followed by a round of dancing at Stolli's where, unbeknownst to us, it was house music night. Good fun anyway, though.

- Games night at Tawnie's. I got to meet some of the people she tells me about online, and briefly I was not just a cyber-participant in her life.

- Mad good New Year's at Tom and Paul's ultra-spiffy townhouse, complete with basement Geek Room O'Tabletop Games'n'Musical Instruments and a terrifying furnace named Moloch. Think Super Smash Brothers, vegetable samosas, Pirates of the Caribbean, and a rousing game of Hoedown. I discovered that Meredith is definitely not the person I thought she was -- she doesn't even have curly hair, so somewhere out there is some curly-headed girl who I have mistakenly mentally labelled "Meredith: fencer, rather cool, dating Tom". Both the Victorias were also there and continue to be awesome people who make me giggle.

- Attending the New Year's Day concert at the Winspear with the Fambly. The concert was replete with Strauss and very lovely.

- Sisters' Demi-Day Out: sushi and a movie with my very favourite wee sister. Casino Royale is way too much fun, we agree. We decided to be health food terrorists and sneak oranges into the theatre instead of eating popcorn. Suck on that, Cineplex Odeon! However, our Porterfield sides manifested themselves simultaneously, resulting in ten minutes of gentle debate in the ticket queue over which of four movies to see before finally falling back on our original choice. "Oh, I don't mind. I don't know if I really feel like a drama, is all. But of course, if you do, I'll go along." "No, no. What do you want? I don't mind, really."

- Grabbing a delicious food court lunch with Katie on her lunch break. She seems to be in such a good place right now, it's delightful to see.

- Some quality good times with Colleen, who slept over the night she came up from Calgary. She's off to Hawaii on Tuesday (to celebrate my birthday, one assumes) and after that to heaven knows where on a theatre tour. Her life is so exciting and nomadic! Although I supposed Andrea has her beat for geographical reach. At the age of 20, she has visited 23 countries, since she spent the year after high school criss-crossing the known universe. Katie, Colleen, Lori, Andrea, and Heather all dined chez nous one night. I demonstrated my mad culinary prowess by throwing some frozen falafel in the oven and making a Greek salad and brownies. The homemade tzatziki was pretty darn impressive, though it was not exactly my doing. Lori grates a mean cucumber, and Mum makes a mean potato salad.

- Movie nights with both the Prattesses and Laura and Richard. Bon Cop, Bad Cop still kind of rules. Tabarnac!

- Brunch at the Sugar Bowl (yum) right before I went to the airport, to celebrate the fact that Bev and I were actually in the same city for eighteen hours or so!

That's about it. My flights were on time both ways, hooray. Stay tuned to JessicaWire for further breaking news, and have a pleasant tomorrow.